Chapter 3:

Chapter 3: Is it Good to Be a Bad Girl? 

This chapter of the book contains many of the answers you might be looking for when you picked up this book, but I'm telling you there is much more gain by finishing this book.

One of the things I learned as a Christian is that boundaries/fences are a great way to make sure you stick to the proverb:

Proverbs 25:16 If you find honey, eat just enough--too much of it, and you will vomit.

What this is talking about is any good thing, or any allowable thing. There are things the Bible says are clearly wrong and the next verse isn't talking about those.

1 Corth 10:23 "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.

Sin is a slippery slop, most people end up having adultery, battling an addiction don't set out to be a slave to it. So fences are a way of reminding ourselves where the road we are on could go.

So lets talk about some fences.

Adultery

The first time I heard a lesson on fences for this subject I was wishing someone had told them about these fences earlier. The fences brought on so much freedom to enjoy life and some boundaries

for dealing with the opposite sex.

1. 
   
   Never be in a room with the door closed with the opposite sex. Never be in a place where you know the only ones around are you and the person of the opposite sex.
2. 
   
   Never be in a car alone with a person of the opposite sex or with children who cannot understand adult conversation. Don't offer a ride to anyone of the opposite sex without someone else of your sex in the car.
3. 
   
   Never share your heart struggles, daily struggles with someone of the opposite sex.
4. 
   
   Always be where you are suppose to be.
5. 
   
   If someone looks really good I turn away and don't look again.

These above are my boundaries. The reason for number 3 particularly is that sin doesn't start in the physical it starts with the heart.

James 1:15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Number 4 is a reference to what happened to David when he wasn't where he was suppose to be. He was suppose to be off at war, instead he was looking out his window at home. 2 Samuel 11:1-5. It's a good story with an important lesson.

I don't ever plan to remove these fences.

Gluttony (sins of overdoing it)

Food

1. I never keep things in my house I could completely eat all of in one sitting. Cookies are a good example.
2. I practice fasting: I turn this area over to God completely. Ever wonder how anyone could fast 40 days and nights without food or water? They used God in there weakness.

Eventually, I will be able to have cookies around but until then I use that as a fence. The fasting will help me keep in perspective what food is actually for. The nourishment of our Physical body. Fasting is also a new area of trust building with God. It says I trust that you can provide what I need today. Fasting also draws us closer to God because combined with prayer you will see some huge changes in your life.

Computer:

1. I was addicted to facebook. So I had to completely deactivate my account. It took almost 4 months for me to get this addiction under control. During this time I had to set some other fences so I could reactivate my account and use it in a non-gluttony manner.
2. I only respond or even go to facebook when I have a notification.
3. I am only allowed on facebook one time per day.
4. I am not allowed to use any of the programs that run on facebook: games, farmville etc.

Not all things can be only be eliminated part way such as addictions that fall into Idolatry.   

Addiction (Idolatry)

Whatever you are actually addicted to God can help. You will have to set some fences early for these just like I did for the Adultery. One of the other things here is an accountability partner. They can help you in putting these fences on paper and reminding you of them. However, just like anything you have to want to be free from the sin/addiction. Anything you cannot give up is an Idol and you must destroy or free yourself from it.

Deuteronomy 5:8: You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 

So here's the start of getting rid of them.   YOU SHOULD SEEK HELP, PROFESSIONALLY!

1. List the things, places, habits that get you to the point of sin.
2. Example: Sitting in a dark car alone. Going to a bar. Going outside with all the other smokers. Being allowed access to prescription drugs.Eliminate the above in your life.

Matthew 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

God teaches us when there is a possibility of sin drastic measures should be taken just like in the verse above. The things we do to stop the addiction may hurt. He doesn't actually mean to actually do damage to your eye but the things we do may cost us something. We should set these fences early.

Examples:

You have to dump your boyfriend or girlfriend.

You used to get 3 breaks a day when you smoked now you only get one.

You have to completely give up the substance that took away the hurt or provided the feeling you liked

To overcome addictions you have to deal with a loss. You will go through the grieving process. It is best not to go it alone. Some of these fences you will never be able to remove.

One thing I have learned is that: Your flesh always looks for new ways to tie themselves to this earth/world, so you have to find new ways with God's help to let them go.

2 Corinthians 5:2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked.