Chapter 6

Chapter 6:  What is this creature called "Man"?

After reading this chapter, I realized how uneducated I really am. Everyone talks about how strong a women's hormones are (ie. PMS)  and how they affect her behavior, but even as a nurse, I had no idea what the hormone testosterone does for men.  This chapter was a big eye opener for me.   

So women, how long have you been looking at your side of the story and not realizing what is going on with him? I admit, I have been doing this a long time. We want to know what is going on with him but really we want to know what is going on with him and how it pertains to us. After reading this chapter, I realize how selfish I really am. Do you?  

So now that the guilt has come how do you and I deal with it?

1. We go to the source, God

I apologize to God for being selfish and not really understanding my husband and assuming he could control his hormones completely and not let them affect me, when I know mine often have a way of affecting me. I tell him all the wrong things I think about my husband, how selfish I thought he was. I apologize for how selfish I really am. I apologize for minimizing his pain (the whole picture of over filled with milk breasts, really spoke to me).

Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Did you start reading this book primary for you or to fix your husband? I apologize to God for trying to fix my husband and realizing what was broken was my vision or my view. I apologize to God for my selfish ambition.

2. I go to my husband after a prayer time with God.

I take the time to apologize for not understanding him at all and thinking he didn't understand me. I ask for his help in learning him. I tell him how sorry I am that I have not met his needs sexually. I apologize for not understanding how his hormones affect him. I apologize for thinking he was selfish for not understanding me and my needs and how I was really selfish in not understanding him and thinking only of myself. I Don't lie. I don't make promises I can't keep.  I ask for patience from him husband as I make changes in my heart and attitude about sex and in my heart and attitude toward him.   

3. I allow God and my husband to help mold me into a wife who really loves my husband not just what he can do for me.

1 Corinthians 13:5 (Love)It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

4. I make a commitment to study my husband to learn him. To not be so concerned by my own well being that I forget my husband.

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This is the make it or break it chapter. It is the chapter that demands change. Will you change?

James 1:22-25 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does.

Will you obey with your heart?

1 Corinthians 7:4-5 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Will you change only because of guilt or for genuine love for you husband?  Love is an action or a verb it requires action or work, the feelings come after the work or action.

1 Corinthians 16:14 Do everything in love.

If your changing because of guilt only your changes will not last.

This chapter also talks a bit about manipulation of your husband. Have you been manipulating your husband? If so stop, apologize, and don't' do it again.

It also talks about improving the bond between you and your husband. Work on that.

Homework: Questions at the end of the chapter.

Memory verse:

1 Corinthians 16:14 Do everything in love.

Going further: Re-read this chapter, high light what your actions have been and find verses to help you change. Put them where you can see them and work on memorization. Honestly talk to your husband.