What the Bible says about.....Friendship and Following the Spirit.

If any of you read my last post you know I struggle with loneliness.  I go from times of having someone to talk to times of complete isolation.  My struggle isn't a struggle uncommon to others but the loneliness does seem to cripple you on the days you take your eyes off God or fail to keep them on him.    If you could be a fly on my wall on those days you would see a woman who's heart is broken who is often crying or holding back tears, whose patience with her kids is lacking and who just can't cope with her activities that day.   You may hear me cry out to my God for help or a friend to help brighten those days.  


It is in that light, that friendship, when your a Christian can have tremendous effects.  I have many people who have been a real friend to me and on those days when hope is gone and I'm sinking beneath the weight of what I am not, that a friend will call, will write, will send me a message of encouragement on facebook.   On those days it's as if God himself made a phone call to get me help.  


It took me a long time to realize how God was working to rescue me on those days.   It took time to  realize that cognizances were not just mere cognizances.  After I came to realize this, I finally started to pick up on his hints to help me rescue someone else, to be a friend not only in good times but in the mess of things.      

I Kings 19:11: The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

Did you catch that his voice is a gentle whisper.  

John 10:27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

The sheep know it's master because they have spent time with him....How's your bible study going this week?   By knowing who God is and reading the bible you will be able to distinguish between your desires, satan's temptations and God's promptings.   God is unchanging so he will not ask you to do something outside of his word. That does not mean he will not put you out of your comfort zone but he will not ask you to do something morally wrong.    


Let me give you a few examples of how this happens since this all sounds very weird.  


1.  Your awakened in the middle of the night to find that you can only think about one person.   You have two choices try and go back to sleep or pray for them.   
2.  You notice a few really strange posts on your friends facebook that you can't get out of your head.  You have two choices, ignore them or contact the person to ask about them and if they are ok.   
3.  You are in a room with a lot of complete strangers and you feel a need to talk with someone, you also notice them glancing at you too.  It's just all a little weird.   You take the chance to meet them and  risk being rejected and looking foolish or you move and initiate a conversation.  I've only been asked to do this 4 times and of the 4 times I've not regretted taking that step.   The first one I waited almost 2 weeks to make the move, we don't always have a second opportunity.    The second the lady broke down on me and we spent the next 15 minutes praying and that day she came back to God.  The third was amazed at God's provision for her. The forth acknowledged the spirit for leading me to her.   
4.  Your at home and you can't seem to get a friend out of your mind that day, you don't know why but you pray for them, sometimes you realize the nudge isn't gone so then you call them.   I know I must sound funny sometimes calling people for no reason but a few friends of mine has told me I have called when they needed that friend.  
5. A strange lady offers to walk with you through the grocery store and help you shop and entertain your children as you move through the store.   I turned this lady down and I deeply regret letting her server me.   At aisle #2 I knew I had missed that opportunity.       


One of the last things I wanted to mention is when  this happen don't forget to praise the one who initiated the nudge.  He is the same one who has called someone to minister to you.  


One of the things I say to my husband before he leaves is call out to God when you need me he will pass the message.   When Christian friends part with distance it doesn't mean you can't be close.   I find that I can be the most vulnerable with a friend isn't as close to a situation.   Listen to the advise though with scriptural ears, sometimes they want to fix things for you, which most good friends want to, but it takes a real friend to step back and say I don't know but I'll pray for you.  

James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

The other thing is you don't always get to see the end result of your work but God sometimes will give you glimpses of how you have been used by him to show his love to others.   


One of the things I have the most trouble with when it comes to friendship is I wanna do all the helping.   It is really hard for me to allow someone to serve me.   Like the lady in the Grocery store, my Pride often gets in the way.   I want to believe I don't need help but in reality I need more help than I'm willing to admit.   When I do this I'm not a friend.   Friendship is based on honesty if you are not honest with someone you will not be a good friend to some one.   I teach my kids that Hiding is lying.   Kids will often put things behind their back or only tell half truths to avoid the consequences of truth.  


One of my fondest friendships is when we decided we could be brutally honest with each other and could say I think you need to go home now, I want to take a nap.   


Word of warning sometimes that help doesn't come the ways I mentioned above on those days look at what you have been refusing to do for God.  Today in my loneliness, when help didn't come I was able to write this Blog.   It had been on my heart to write again lately and I had been encouraged by two friends this week to write I just had no idea what to write about.  God may be doing something in your loneliness too.   


Other resources:  The friendship of Women by Dee Brestin.  This gives you a very close look at friendships in the Bible.   I'm on the last chapter so now I have to apply all the new knowledge.